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The Rant: A Monday Morning View - Political Campaigns

Updated on February 10, 2013
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This one is for all those political campaign marketing managers. Can you spell ENOUGH?

Political Phone Banks

We've had enough. At least I have. Last night I had eleven phone calls. Eleven! I answered three of them. Why did I answer? Because I want to be involved in the political process. I want to be informed.

Those eleven phone calls came from eleven different numbers. Yep, different zip codes too. I could accept that eleven different organizations are trying to swing the vote their way and I could even accept them all calling - once. But this has been going on for weeks now and it's reached the point where it feels like harassment. I've already told you who I'm voting for so you don't need to keep calling. If you have enough high-tech people working for you to auto-dial my number repeatedly, surely you can record somewhere in that database that I'm on your side and tell the system to leave me alone. Did you hear that - leave me alone!

This is what you need to know:

  • For the campaign finance officer - I've already made a donation. Check your books. This well is dry.
  • For the volunteer coordinator - I don't have time this year to volunteer. I told you that in August. Stop calling me.
  • For you pollsters - I'm not changing my vote. I'm still going to vote for the person I told you I was voting for in September. You don't need to ask again.


Political Print Ads

Your brainwashing will not work, not on me. How do I know? Because I don't read everything you send through the U.S. Mail. In fact, I quit reading it many weeks ago. There are at least three pieces of political campaign mail in my mail box every day. I sort it on the way into my home and immediately drop it in the recycle bin. Why are you still wasting good money on it. Do you think I'm the only one who isn't reading it? Well, I hate to break it to you but most of us aren't reading it.

I don't even look at the headline anymore. Nope, I couldn't tell you which candidate is sending the most. I can tell by the format, size, and finish that it's political propaganda and I refuse to buy into it. Since this campaign season is almost over, I'll just say this. Don't bother next time. Save your money and donate it to a good cause, like the American Red Cross. Or, if you get elected, maybe you could mandate that the recyclers donate a portion of their proceeds from campaign ads to the Red Cross. Now that's a novel idea, isn't it?

Email

If there's one thing I despise, it's when someone treats me like I'm stupid. When you send me ten emails in a day and the "From" says "Joe Biden" on one, "Maya Angelou" on another, and "Michele" on yet another, I'm smart enough to look at the "properties" to see where it really came from. I'm sorry but it's more fun to see where the email came from that it is to wade through all its propagada-like text.

I don't mean to single out the Obama campaign but you are the worst. Now I'll own up to my responsibility for this one. I did register on your website for news. I don't remember authorizing you to harass me though. Give me a break, would you? I don't want to read the same email from ten different people on the same day. I'm not fooled by your technical marvels that write a script that changes the "From" name and leaves the rest of the email intact.

The Internet

Before I go, I want to introduce you campaign marketing managers to a friend of mine. It's called the "Internet". When I want to know something, I google it or yahoo it. Gone are the days when poor little dumb people are sitting at their farmhouse table wondering what's going on in the world. Your politics have taken care of that. You made it darn near impossible for the family farm to survive.

You understand, don't you? I don't want your emails or phone calls or print ads. I've already got all the information I need to make an informed decision. I know who I'm voting for because I've done the research. I didn't count on your skills, the skills of a political campaign marketing guru, to tell me how to think. Harassing me isn't going to make me like your candidate any more than the other one. So, next time, just put the stuff you want me to know on your candidate's web page. I'll check it out on my time.

© 2012 Linda Crist, All rights reserved.

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